You would think that teenagers would be the rudest customers when really it’s mostly old, middle-aged people.
My aunt’s puppy had it’s eye removed and now she’s adorable and totally badass at the same time
— Me, no matter what time it is (via natashakills)
so there was a bug in my room so i got my mom to kill it because i hate bugs and then she was like
"you have to learn to kill bugs for your girlfriend"
and i was like
"ill get my boyfriend to do it"
and thats how i came out to my mom
Can you imagine the conversation though?
Queen: I’m going
Chief of Staff: But, Your Majesty, the security risks…
Queen: I’m going I want cake
Chief of Staff:
Chief of Staff:
Queen: I want cake
"So okay, I don’t want to be a traitor to my generation and all, but I don’t get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair - ew - and cover it up with a backwards cap and, like, we’re expected to swoon? I don’t think so."
cher taught me that you don’t have to pretend boys are cute when they aren’t and i’ll always be indebted to her for that
"He speaks like 13 languages. It’s like what!?! I hate you!"
humanized bowser concept
oh my god yes this is perfect :”D
PRO: Get to puncture child with needle
CON: You have to go to a place
sending “I hope you get that job” vibes to the children out here tryna get jobs
EVEN IF A GIRL IS EMOTIONAL BECAUSE SHES “ON HER PERIOD” DOESNT MEAN ITS A GOOD...
when you walk away from your friends to go fart in a far away spot and someone walks over to you
When he say he gonna eat ya ass and you aint showered yet
- Anonymous said:Got any funny stories?
senior year of highschool i only had white friends (i was the only black kid in most of my classes and i just wanted to fit in)
as you can imagine...